Do you have a friend or role model who is a self-actualizer? Are you one yourself?
A self-actualizer is someone who has developed the self-understanding and drive to systematically choose positive, self-affirming attitudes and behaviors for the highest good of themselves, others and society. A self-actualizer has the insight and self-empowerment to consistently choose win-win attitudes and actions. A self-actualizer does not let themselves become submerged by fear, doubt, confusion and their bedfellows.
Where are you on the scale of self-actualization?
This quiz will help you determine where you are on the scale of self-actualization. As you go through the questions, rather than judging or pummeling yourself, treat yourself with kindness and compassion. If you can put aside your judgments, you lower the stakes and make room to see yourself just as you are.
Did you notice that this quiz does not have yes/no questions? Why do you think that is?
Well, no one is 100% on the left side of the spectrum and no one is 100% on the self-actualizing side. We are in a constant state of flux moving between the two axes in response to inner and outer stimuli. Self-actualizing is something we aspire to and strive toward. No matter where they are on the spectrum, self-actualizers will endeavor to do their best without putting pressure on themselves to be perfect. Striving for perfection, as positive as it sounds, usually ends up making us poignantly aware of and paralyzed by our imperfections. Counter-intuitive as it may sound, perfectionism is a compensatory mechanism, not a self-actualising drive. It comes out and tries to mask negative beliefs such as the fear of not being good enough.
Some of us are more or less walking through a minefield of divisive polarities such as good vs bad (boom!), right vs wrong (you-know-what!), good enough vs not good enough (yep, kablam again!).
The further you are on the left of the scale, the more deeply entrenched you are in negative self-image and self-sabotage mechanisms. No matter how hard you try, walking through a minefield is risky business. You can’t win. If we take a moment to look within, we can see that those mines are inner mechanisms based on self-destructive ways of perceiving ourselves and our lives.
It’s all about choices
What if, rather than allowing your quality of life to be undermined by dodgy mine dodging, there was another way? It’s simple. When you realize that every thought, word, and action either puts you at odds with yourself or uplifts and empowers you, the power lies in your hands. You can choose to either uplift or forsake yourself.
In other words, wherever you stand on the spectrum at any given moment, you are faced with a choice. You can succumb to the self-sabotage impulse or pull yourself up by the bootstraps and choose the direction that is empowered and driven by your higher self.
It sounds easy, right? True, for some, it is simply a question of realizing that we have a choice whether to self-sabotage or self-empower. Yet for others, it seems as though there is an invisible force that pushes you towards disempowering choices.
Several things can cause your self-sabotage mechanisms to overpower your drive toward self-actualization. Habit, low self-esteem, and victim consciousness are several culprits. To make matters worse, when you find yourself choosing the low road, you probably pull out a spare whip and pummel yourself for a few minutes, hours, days, or worse. This further lowers your sense of self and keeps you chained in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage. When you are in an emotional response such as feeling annoyed with yourself, your perspective is skewed and keeps you in the same attitudes and behaviors that are driving you down. The spiral has to stop somewhere
How can I become more self-actualizing?
In order to stop a downward spiral, it is useful to imagine that the struggle you are experiencing is happening to someone you know and care about deeply. You would give them your listening ears and hear about their struggle with kindness, compassion, and positive encouragement. Your inner wise person will deliver extraordinary advice such as, “Be gentle with yourself. Keep trying. You can and will succeed.” Okay, now here’s the punchline. Take that same kindness, compassion, and understanding and give it to yourself. You deserve it and you’ll find it healing. Ultimately, offering kindness and understanding to yourself will empower you and propel you toward self-actualization.
Here to help
If you would like help overcoming issues that are preventing you from living a happy, harmonious, and fulfilling life, or you would like to explore your potential and personal development, you are welcome to fill out the contact form or call Margot to set up a free 30-minute consultation.